The date was Friday, July 7, 2023, and I was scrolling through my Facebook feed when I came across a post from Angie McCartney saying their guest next week on their TeaFlix Tuesday show would be author Erin Riley. It listed a bunch of her accomplishments, but all I thought was, “Never heard of her!”, so I took a pass on tuning in.
Later that same day, I’m scrolling again, when I see a musician friend post that he’ll be doing an ‘author event’ on August 10th with Philly area author Erin Riley. At this point, I’m internally saying, “WTF? This is the 2nd time I’m hearing this woman’s name from two different friends on different coastlines and I’ve never heard of her in my life.”
Four weeks later, I ordered a copy of her book. I read the first chapter yesterday morning before running an errand and spent the drive with tears in my eyes as I flashbacked to my own childhood. Seems Erin and I have a lot in common…
It took me 36 hours to read A Dark Force: 20 Years with a Covert Narcissist by Erin Riley from cover to cover…the whole time, exchanging messages with her on Facebook messenger. She lived in New York City as a child, I lived in Rahway, NJ. Her family moved to Flemington, NJ, mine moved to Freehold, NJ. She spent time living in Downingtown, PA. I graduated from Downingtown high school in 1982 and spent 1o years living in that town. She’s lived on the Main Line…I live on the Main Line. Her mother called her ugly…my mother called me ugly. But between the high school and marriage, our lives took different paths.
Erin Riley has led the rock star life through a very successful career in radio, at one time working for the #1 radio station in the country. She was the person in charge of which new songs would be played. She could make or break any new band she pleased. Check out her website (www.ErinRiley.com) and see all the rock gods that she’s met and befriended over the years. A young woman who broke the glass ceiling into the patriarchal business of radio in the 1970s! Unfortunately, those years came crashing down…but not by her own hand.
Growing up with a narcissistic parent, lends one into ending up in relationships with more narcissist in your adult years. Maybe it’s the familiarity…or maybe it’s the “I couldn’t fix my parent, but I can fix this one!” attitude. And Erin Riley leads you through a difficult and tortured 20 years+ of her life with her need to fix things and the men she loved…many times to the destruction of her own self.
This book is a real page turner. And it’s like warm blanket to anyone who’s in or survived a relationship with a narcissist. It leaves you with the feeling 0f – “I’m not crazy after all….” Thank you, Erin! And for that reason…
I rate this book, 4 out of 4 Beetles!
Erin Riley with be appearing along with author/musician John Faye at the Colonial Theater in Phoenixville, PA, on Thursday, August 10, 2023 at 7 pm in the Berry Theatre as they share songs and stories from their respective memoirs. Click here for tickets and more info!
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by Stuart Shea is another book I picked up for free at 
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